Hair of the Dog – Hamburger (and Benny) Hill
By: Cham |
2 Comments
I feel we can skip the typical match report on this one. It would look something like this:
Hamburger SV nil, Celtic nil…
According to The Herald, both Scot McDonald and the keeper, who still isn’t Artur Boruc, say Celtic can still qualify out of the Europa Cup Group Stage.
Scotty Mac, a beacon of light and optimism here, said, “There is plenty to build on and more goals would be helpful for everyone. We’d like a few more, but it’s not for the want of trying. We’ve had chances in Europe and we’ve been unfortunate, but we’ll look forward to the two games we have left.”
Because no one in the press pool believed him, or that they just wanted a(nother) good laugh, they brought in Lukasz Zaluska (who, by some token, made some real top-class saves this evening). Zaluska said, “We know this is a very difficult aim, but we had a few good chances and we have to win the last two games now.”
All this coming after what is becoming Tony Mowbray anger-after-a-win, hope-after-a-loss song and dance: “We will try and get the points which are in front of us, and what will be will be … [R]egarding the group, we have two matches left and we have to take maximum points. That has got to be our focus at the moment.”
I don’t know about all that. I’m sure saving the European campaign might look something like this:
Because I generally love European nights, let’s hope I eat these words and Celtic take full spoils at Celtic Park and in Vienna.
Don’t forget to cheer on your fellow Scottish club tonight
By: Cham | 3 Comments
Rangers play Unirea Urziceni this evening in Romania’s Steaua Stadium. They already played two weeks ago, and I complete forgot to come on the ‘gers that night. I think I had yoga or something.
Of course, a Scottish side should cheer on another Scottish side, as the folks from BBC Scotland suggested at the beginning of the European competitions. And, now that I remember it, I forgot to cheer for Rangers in their Uefa Cup Final last year.
And I also forgot to cheer for Rangers two years ago when they faced Lyon, when all they needed was a draw to join Celtic in the Final Sixteen.
So brush off those Jean-Claude Darcheville replicas, which I know you’ve got stored away (behind your Manchester United kits that you’re so oft to wear whenever they’re playing), and support the other Scottish club still in Europe. I, however, don’t want you to go out of your way or anything. If cheering on Rangers tonight is not on your to-do list, please, please, please not feel to obliged. I have a few better things myself and just don’t think I’ll be able to fit it in. Hold yer breath and we’ll see. I may have yoga again tonight instead.
Just remember: if Celtic fans or any other Scottish footballing club fans don’t cheer for Rangers tonight, then who will? Rangers Supporters may have other things to do as well, and I don’t blame them.
Category: CelticHair of the Dog – The Sunday Morning Report
By: Cham | Add Comments
The Sunday Morning Report
In the Scottish Premier League :
Celtic 3 – 0 Kilmarnock
- Two wins in a row find Celtic atop the Scottish Premier league. Two loses out of three find Killie ninth, tied on points with St Johnstone and Hearts.
Hibernian 2 – 0 Aberdeen
- With the best 6-game form in the league – 4 wins and 2 draws – the Hibees are second to Celtic. Two points from four matches sit the Dons seventh in the table.
Motherwell 1 – 0 Hearts
- With nine points out of the last possible eighteen, Motherwell move to fourth. Despite recent League Cup success, Hearts have only two league wins on the campaign, sitting ninth.
St Johnstone 3 – 1 Falkirk
– The Saints find another decisive win to go tenth, five clear of Falkirk, who have yet to claim full points this season.
St Mirren 0 – 2 Hamilton
- Hamilton get their first away win of the campaign, but still linger second from the bottom. St Mirren have twelve of a possible thirty and sit sixth behind United.
And, due to rain, the Dundee United v Rangers match has been abandoned. Rangers lead 1-nil – Steven Davis in the 29′.
Now, back to bed.
Match Report : Celtic 3 – 0 Kilmarnock
By: Cham | Add Comments
Scottish Premier League
Celtic 3 – 0 Kilmarnock
I’d like to say this was another day at the office, a good Celtic win, overpowering a struggling Kilmarnock side. And perhaps the struggling Killie part is true with only one (1) shot on target, three (3) corner opportunities, a load of fouls and two bookings. Celtic controlled the ball and with it, the game, rattling off a number of qualities shots and a number of those going in the back of the net. Aiden McGeady (an absolute cracker!) and Georgio Samaras netted in the first half and Niall McGinn in the second.
Aiden McGeady, 13′
Niall McGinn, 78′
I’m not sure what a day at the office looks like for the Bhoys at home, but this match is certainly encouraging: how a team can shake off a string of disappointments in Europe and in a cup, come back and put down a team tied for third worst in the Premier League.
This home win and this type of home win was exactly what Celtic need. The Hoops will still be top of the table, regardless of Rangers away at Tannadice. Celtic managed clear chances, like Wednesday’s League Cup loss against Hearts, but actualized for three. And clean sheet is never a bad, but it also helps Zaluska’s confidence. Finally, it gives the gaffer a chance to realize that his tactics do work when the team puts in a solid effort.
Talkin’ with Strachan – Travelin’ Riverside Blues
By: Cham | 3 Comments
The last time I wrote a Talkin’ with Strachan post, it was the morning of February 24th, 2007. Later that day, Celtic would face and dramatically defeat Inverness Caledonian Thistle in the late minutes of the Scottish Cup Quarter-Finals. An 89′ minute header from Steven “Elvis” Pressley brought the match to parity and a certain replay at Celtic park. But Kenny Miller (remember Kenny?) would prove hero of the day with a low strike to finish off the Callie Jags in stoppage time.
Match Highlights can be seen here:
Gordon Strachan was then the manager of Celtic Football Club, a post he would hold until 25 May 2009, or 821 more days. In that time he and Celtic would win the Scottish Premier League twice more (for three total), the Scottish Cup again and a Scottish League Cup again.
In the days following the 2008-2009 campaign, Gordon Strachan stepped down from his post as Celtic boss, having failed to retain the League title that year, as well as leading Celtic back to the Final Sixteen of the European Champions League. He did not take any immediate positions, though much was made about him and the Scottish National post, if George Burley and the SFA decided to part company.
They didn’t. And up until a few weeks ago, the most we saw of the wee man was a hilarious commentary he did on Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger’s bottle-kicking episode during a 2-1 defeat at Old Trafford to Manchester United.
But Monday, after much speculation, Gordon Strachan has now found a new home and a four-year agreement at Middlesbrough’s Riverside Stadium, following Gareth Southgate’s mid-October sacking. I imagine the general feeling of most Celtic fans is good luck and all the best, as he did keep the trophy cabinets well stocked in his tenure.
Since this is not a ‘Boro Offside blog, I will leave the Strachan commentary to others, though his quotes and antics provide great fodder for jokes and the like. Personally I will miss his celebratory touchline dashes. I imagine he will bring some obvious changes to Middlesbrough Football Club and may even take them back up to the top flight of English football. Whatever his lot, I will miss talkin’ about Strachan.
Of Bhoys and Men – Neil Lennon’s Assailants Released
By: Cham | Add Comments
In writing a few words about Henrik Larsson and his official retirement after so many great years and so many great goals, I began by initially reading up some stories about Neil Lennon, his status at Reserves coach at Celtic currently, his potential courting from former Bhoys boss Gordon Strachan (stories found here, here and here), his cult hero-dom during his many years (2000-2007), many Celtic caps (214 official), and tenure as Celtic captain from 2003 on.
Of course, a large chunk of Neil Lennon news came last year September when, following an Old Firm derby match, Coach Lennon was attacked by two Rangers supporters outside of pub, Jinty McGuinty’s Bar, in Glasgow’s west end. The immediate reaction was for Lennon’s condition and the punishment for these two examples of sectarian scum. Once we found out Lennon was going to be fine, the incident for most part just annoyed us Celtic fans, shaking up the vitriol in an already vitriolic rivalry.
The two perpetrators have now been released, having only served a quarter of their two-year sentence. Thug #1, Jeffrey Carrigan, was released in July, but gets to wear an electronic criminal tag. Thug #2, David Whitelaw, was released last month. The latter assailant/criminal trash has no electronic tag but still such an embarrassment to our league to be fair warning for Coach Lennon and all the Hoops’ faithful.
Hooliganism, racism, and sectarianism have no place in football, before, during or after a match. All those who continue to promote sectarianism and any violence at its behest should be made examples.
Match Report : Celtic 0 – 1 Hearts
By: Cham | Add Comments
I perceive two things in Scotland of the most fearful omen: ignorance of theological truth, and a readiness to pride themselves in and boast of it.
Edward Irving, a 17th cent. Scottish Clergyman, educated in Edinburgh… [oof]
Co-operative Insurance Cup, Quarter-Finals
Celtic 0 – 1 Heart of Midlothian
Well, the day I return to The Offside and Celtic lay an egg in the League Cup Quarters – to Hearts no less, and right after Rangers went through comfortably over Dundee 1-3. Omens…
Celtic lost on a penalty. An early in the second half penalty. A dreadfully-taken, scuffed-by-Michael-Stewart penalty, which stand-in Pole-keeper Lukasz Zaluska leap-frogged, just days after he blabbed to the papers about how excited and how ready he is to stand between the sticks in place of Celtic #1 Pole-keeper Artur Boruc. Oh, and Stephen McManus was sent off late for a daft challenge. Omens…
UPDATE: Video of the penalty can be found, courtesy of 101greatgoals.com
Of course, the knives are already sharp for first-year Celtic boss Tony Mowbray. In the last four home matches in all competitions he’s overseen, there have been: 1) a goal-less loss at home to Hearts in the League Cup; 2) a goal-less loss at home to Hamburg in the Europa League Cup; 3) a goal-less draw at home to Motherwell in the Scottish Premier League; and 4) a one-one draw to Rapid Vienna in the Europa League Cup. Our last home win — you guessed it : defeating Hearts 2-1 in the League back in September. Omens…
Here’s the gaffer’s interview with Sky Sports:
Are the omens bad with this one? No, I’m sorry, but they are not all completely bad. Celtic are still top of the table, a point ahead of Rangers, three ahead of Hibs. And this Saturday Celtic face Kilmarnock, whom they beat 3-1, 3-nil, 2-1 in the League, and 3-1 in the League Cup last year. We defy augury. There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ‘Tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all. Or something like that.
Too bad Celtic play Killie at home this weekend.
The End of an Era
By: Matt | 6 Comments
Hi there. Sorry I’ve been gone for so long, but computer access has been limited for me the past week. Unfortunately though, this will be my final post as the author of the Celtic Offside. For a variety of reasons, I will not be able to continue to post on the Celtic Offside. While Celtic seem to be struggling right now, do not take me leaving the Celtic Offside as me leaving Celtic. I will not be able to continue to give this blog the proper attention and care it deserves, so if you believe that you can, email Daryl here at The Offside at daryl@theoffside.com with a writing sample. I hope that a commenter like Ryan, Quinn, Rut, or one of you guys will be able to keep the torch going here and pick up where I left off. If you are a lurker, but think you have what it takes to make bad dick jokes, pot shots at Rangers and Aberdeen, and think that Celtic is the greatest fucking team, no matter what the standings say, then you might be the perfect candidate for the writer of this blog. After almost two years of reading my drivel, the readers will have low expectations, so you will have that going for you. You also must be able to go on The Offside main page and make everyone froth at the mouth in the comment section, including EPL Fans, lower SPL team supporters, and a staff member of The Offside who supports an MLS team run by a bunch of fat guys. If this seems like something you can do, please shoot Daryl an email. But now, for the final time, let’s look at tomorrow’s match up between Celtic and Hamilton. Read the rest of this entry »
Category: Match PreviewsHenke Interested in Celtic Coaching Role
By: Matt | 3 Comments
The King of Kings, Henrik Larsson, has recently announced that he would be very interested in a coaching role with Celtic. Larsson, who scored 242 goals during his time with Celtic, is widely expected to retire at the end of the Swedish League’s season which ends in November and if Sweden’s bid to enter the World Cup is thwarted, as it could be by the end of today. If this is the case, Larsson has made no secret that he would like to return to Celtic as a coach in some capacity. Henke said “I talk a lot with Celtic, although nothing is happening at the moment. Everyone knows what my feelings are for the club. I will go to Scotland sooner or later.” He has previously been rumored to return to Scotland to gain his coaching qualifications, since the Scottish Football Association allowing senior professionals with at least years’ experience able to skip the introductory stages and begin with the Uefa B licence. The SFA have said that Larsson has yet to do that though. Larsson all but confirmed his leaving of Sweden after his playing days are done by saying, “If I should become a coach, my ambition is to be the best I can be. That means I will have to leave Sweden. I have gained a lot of experience over the years and I feel I’m on the right track to become a coach, but studying in the Swedish FA system doesn’t interest me. Why should I learn everything from training boys to treating injuries? I would much rather get down to studying real coaching methods.” It seems the Scottish Coach training system and Henke’s hero status means that a return to Celtic could be very likely! Truth be told, I would take Larsson back as a player these days as well.
Of course, any mention of the King of Kings gives me a great excuse to put this video up. Ah, memories.
Category: In the PressNeed Some Toilet Paper?
By: Matt | 1 Comment
So, picture this. You get home after a long day at work/school/watching the Price is Right in your basement and you realize nature is calling. You head to your “office” with you favorite reading material, be it your local newspaper, the latest issue of FourFourTwo magazine, or your nudie magazine of choice. After “taking care of business”, you go to…er…*ahem*…”clean up after yourself.” You look over to the bog roll, and what do you see? Why, none other than Nacho Novo on the bog roll! You roll the TP a little more and you see Ibrox’s gates staring back at you. Further examination of toilet paper shows the Rangers crest with the caption “Huns FC”, pictures of Walter Smith and other former Huns, and caption with the famous “…fly over Ibrox tomorrow and shit on the bastards below!” Would you, as a Celtic fan, enjoy wiping your backside with said toilet paper? For years, there have been countless jokes about using various Rangers paraphernalia for toilet paper, but you finally now have your chance! Football Toilet Paper is finally giving the chance for football fans a chance to truly let their rivals know what they think of them. The site advertises “We offer two Rangers toilet paper products, the first is especially for Celtic Fans as it comes in a gift box with a caricature of a Celtic player singing ”Walk On” whilst pretending to sh*t on a Rangers shirt. The second is for supporters of other clubs who want to wipe out their anger on the The Gers.” Each roll has 300 sheets of paper with 8 pictures repeated throughout. Each toilet paper roll is priced at £2.99 + £1.99 p+p. If you are interested, head over to http://www.footballtoiletpaper.com/Rangers-Toilet-Paper.html and check out this very unique way to “shite on Rangers.”
Is it time for real games again yet? This international week is a KILLER.
Category: Celtic
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