Champions League Draw Liveblog

By: Matt | August 28th, 2008

11:54 Eastern-Well, I’m back from class and I just have the CL theme playing with highlights saying it will start at 18:00 (Noon Eastern). I am going to go make a turkey sandwich and will be back.

11:58-Ok back with turkey sandwich. The amount of turkey I put on it is a little small but I made up for it with two, count ‘em, two pieces of swiss. Yeah, I’m that bad ass. Onto non-lunchmeat related news, I really like the Champions League theme, but playing on a loop for two minutes straight is a bit annoying. No highlight of last year, UEFA? Looking at the pots, my ideal group for Celtic would be Lyon, PSV, Celtic, and BATE.

12:01-Who is Melanie Vinegar and why should I put my hands together for her? She’s cute though, but the schmuck she’s with is not worthy to be on the stage with her. Oh good, a look back on last year…DAMN IT UEFA, I HAVE CLASS AT 1:30 AND I SKIP ENOUGH CLASSES FOR CELTIC CHAMPIONS LEAGUE GAMES ALREADY! GET TO THE F$&%ING DRAW!

12:04-Tee hee John Terry missing the penalty is always funny. What might be lost in that is that Pretty Ronaldo’s penalty was TERRIBLE! GINGER BAWS IS ON THE VOTING PANNEL? Funny stuff…

12:08-Nuer from Schalke gets nominated for goalkeeper of the year and the Holy Goalie doesn’t? Bullshit. Cech wins the award, the douche male host is grilling him on Moscow last year, bring the lolz!

12:10-Petr Cech gets to draw? How does that seem fair…But we’re getting under way. Someone is now explaining the rules of the draw and “fair play”. Pot 1 will be drawn first…this will be close for my class I feel.

12:15-Pot 1 has Man U, Chelsea, Liverpool, Barca, Lyon, Arsenal, Inter, and Real Madrid. Chelsea is in Group A…OH GOOD FUCKING TIME TO BUFFER UEFA VIDEO! Inter are in Group B, Lyon are Group F, Arsenal just drawn and they are in group G.

12:18-My English Muffin is done, do they have those in England? Anyways, Real Madrid are heading to group H. Liverpool got in last night by the skin of their teeth over Standard Liege and still make pot one. They are in group D. Barca are directly put into Group C and Man U right into group E. Pot 1 done. I’m hoping to get into Lyon’s group F, but we’ll see how the rest of the groups shape up. Oh boy, more awards…

12:22-Poor John Terry, every time he’s mentioned tonight, inevitably “The Penalty” is mentioned. Terry gets the consolation of being named the top defender. Chelsea is 2 for 2 in awards tonight, even though they won fuck all.

12:25-Lots of big names in Pot 2…Sporting’s fate first and they get group C with Barca, the commentator clever to name it an Ibernian Battle, a A+ in Geography. PSV is up next and they get group D and Liverpool. Villareal and American Jozy Altidore will get group E and Manchester United, which means we’ll probably see them on ESPN2. The Old Lady of Juventes get into Real Madrid’s group. AS Roma, who’s home stadium will be hosting the final, and are sent automatically to group A with Chelsea. Celtic friendly opponent Porto will get group G and Arsenal. Bayern will go in to Lyon’s group F. Finally Werder Bremen will automatically go into Group B and tangle with Inter. Now one more stupid award and we find out Celtic’s fate!

12:32-Really? ANOTHER Chelsea award? Frank Lampard wins Midfielder of the Year. Is UEFA aware that they did not win ANYTHING?

12:35-Wow, your streaming video sucks, UEFA! Here we go for Pot 3…Bordeaux up first and go to Group A with Chelsea and Roma. Next up is Fenerbache and the Turks are heading to Group G with Arsenal and Porto. Last year’s UEFA Cup Hereos Zenit St. Petersberg (heard Manchester was a riot! lolz!) get Group H with Real Madrid and Juve. FC Basel (how are they in Pot 3?) get Group C with Barca and Sporting. Seriously, the streaming sucks. PAO are up next and get Group B with Inter and Werder Bremen. FINALLY CELTIC! AND WE GET……………FUCKING GROUP E! AH FUCK ANOTHER GAME AGAINST MAN U! We also see Jozy and Villareal…while not exciting stuff against Man U, we have a chance of being on ESPN2 since they love slurping off Man U. Plus we can always show this video…

12:41-Pretty Ronaldo wins an award. In other news, water is still wet and sky still blue. As someone pointed out, at least we can’t get Atletico Madrid with Vilareal in our group now. I did not fancy them or Donetsk in pot 4. No sir.

12:44-Seriously, I will never pay to use UEFA’s streaming because of this joke of a stream. And our group is finished right away AaB, the Danish Champs, finish out the group. Not a terrible group, besides the fact that we are traveling to Manchester AGAIN (hopefully they don’t hold us responsible for the Huns rampage). Obviously road points will be crucial this time around for Celtic. If we hold fort at Fortress Parkhead, I think it is possible to at least get a point in Spain and Denmark. Not a terrible route to try and get to the quarters again.

Group E
Manchester United
Villareal
Celtic
AaB