Help Wanted: Must be able to commute to Manchester!

By: Matt | October 20th, 2008

HELP WANTED!: Professional Football Club hit with injury bug looking for temporary fill-ins. Strikers preferred, but no guarentee to be played in natural position. Catalonians, Italians, Irish, or Scottish preferred, but not required. Potential Strikers need to be able to fill time while ball will be down on the other side of the field, finish the few chances they will see on Tuesday, track back on defense for the numerous corners and counter attacks assured to occur, and only eat meagerly because our only other striker still healthy tends to eat a bit. Potential Midfielders must be able to stop a counter attack, mark some unknown Portugese player, hoof the ball upfield, give the baw to Naka or Aiden, be put in backline by the gaffer, and get into the form of a training cone. Potential defenders are probably defensive midfielders that have been put into the back by Ginger Baws, but must be able to hoof the ball upfield, play fullback, and play fullback. Must be able to travel to Manchester, we hear Tam Crook has some good deals. Inquire within and ask for Mr. Strachan, Mr. Lawwell, or Dr. Death.

Obviously as my poor attempt at humor shows, Celtic are facing some injury troubles before our high profile Champions League game tomorrow against Manchester United. The American fitbaw viewing public will turn on ESPN 2 disappointed they will not see Marc Crosas, Georgios Samaras, Chris Killen (har har), and Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink, as well as see an injured Gary Caldwell take the field (or they will be thinking, “OMG RONALDO IS SOOOOO CUTE!!11! Perhaps it will be the latter) As if Man U did not have a gulf in class already, Ian Black apparently had a betting ticket for Man U to win by 4, as he seemingly looked to take out every major Celtic player, but was fortunately unable to do so. Celtic will be luck to get a point at Old Trafford tomorrow and it might take a down right miracle to win, but it is in these situations that miracles occur…or at least that is what I tell myself. At least we have a reason to play this video…