But, if that distraction doesn’t keep you from the re-ignition of the Scottish Premier this weekend, then here we go. [Deep breath]

The only solace I can give offer this match is this:
Craig Levein’s mind is on the wonder as he is the bookie’s favorite for Scotland managerial post. Having said that, Dundee United have won two tough away match against Killie and Aberdeen (0-2 both) (Damian Casalinuovo netted three goals of those four). United were bounced out of the League Cup by a spirited Saints side, due to a spirited Darren Dods’ own goal, not unlike another under-achieving League Cup side…

Notwithstanding, the terrors have no reason not to beat Celtic this weekend [Points for a triple negative?].

Is it a coincidence that I am making my exit after Rangers draw with Hibs and Celtic have an opportunity to jump back into first place in a seemingly endless game of leap frog at the top of the SPL standings. Yes it is, you big jerk. Stop reading into everything. So what that Celtic is playing Hamilton, one of the worst teams in the SPL and Marc Antoine Fortune and Danny Fox will be back into the line up to hopefully help the floundering Bhoys. Quit being so cynical, damn it! Yes, finally Marc Antoine Fortune will return to the squad after injuring himself against Arsenal in the Champions League qualifier. Since Scott McDonald and Georgios Samaras have the first touch of a U8 with Attention Deficit Disorder, Fortune and his ability to hold onto the ball is a welcome sight. Danny Fox is also another sight for sore eyes for Celtic supporters after having to relive the nightmare that is Lee Naylor for a few weeks. Jesus, that was scary. Is it a coincidence that Celtic’s struggles seem to be linked with Lee Naylor being in the first XI? Now it’s my turn to be cynical and say, absofuckinglutely. Fox should be in the starting XI, but Fortune might only make the bench for tomorrow’s match.

While Celtic have been poor the last few weeks, some cream puffs in the schedule just might be what the doctor ordered. Celtic travel to New Douglas Park this Sunday for 11th place Hamilton, then home to Kilmarnock, and away to Falkirk. The Accies are only averaging 0.5 goals per game and have a -10 goal differential so far. Another hopefully positive for this weekend is the Bhoys prowess on the road. Celtic have won every SPL match away from Celtic park this season apart from the Rangers match.

Before I depart into the sunset of the Tim-ernet, I would like to sincerely thank every one of you who have ever read anything I have ever written on here. I have learned so much from writing this blog and have enjoyed every minute of the nearly two years that I have been here. From the last Sunday at Tannadice to last year’s trainwreck, this blog has been an important part of my life and my life as a Celtic supporter. I’d like to thank Ian from the Caley and SPL blogs here for helping me out, despite me being the typical Celtic supporter who thinks that Celtic is the best thing to happen to the SPL. I’d like to thank any Aberdeen fans who read this for taking my countless sheep jokes in stride. I’d also like to thank Huns supporters for sometimes making my job way too fucking easy. Nice job racially abusing your own player, you twats. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I’d like to thank Daryl and the rest of the crew at The Offside main page for giving me this opportunity. I’d like to thank Kevin from the Lord of the Wing blog for giving me the inspiration to write about Celtic and helping me out when I was just starting. Finally, once again, I would like to thank you, the reader, for giving a cynical jerk a chance. I’ve enjoyed writing you my assorted ramblings and I hope you’ve enjoyed at least some of them. If you can’t get enough of my bad jokes and opinions about Celtic, head over to the Na Dead Raibead Celtic Forum and ask for Rudy.

Over and over, we will follow you. Over and over, we will see it through. For we are Celtic supporters, faithful through and through. Over and over we will follow you!

Coming into this match, Celtic have won all three of their away fixtures so far in the season, going 3-0-0. They have also been unbeaten in their last six matches overall. The Bhoys have averaged 2 goals a game in their away fixtures, with 6 goals total in their away matches. In all of their matches, Celtic is averaging 2.33 goals per game, which is best in the EPL. While the Celtic attack hasn’t shined in Europe, it continues to lead the way in the SPL. Of course, the defense of Celtic is often the butt of most criticisms by supporters, though away from Celtic Park, Celtic have conceded 0.33 goals per game, 2nd overall in the SPL away from home, and 0.33 goals in all matches, 3rd overall in the SPL.

The stats on the team from the other side of Glasgow are also very telling about their season so far. Rangers attack is carrying the weight so far, averaging 2.67 goals per game in 3 matches, though that number was skewed and has been brought back to earth after big victories over some lower competition like Hamilton and Falkirk, and last week’s goal-less draw with Aberdeen. In Rangers last three matches, they have gotten three straight scoreless draw, though they have also not lost a game in the last six. Rangers are 2-0-1 at Ibrox this season overall and have seen some defensive performances at home, only having conceded an average of 0.67 goals per game at home, the best such rate in the SPL.

Rangers are likely to be without Madjid Bougherra for Sunday after battling the flu all week. The loss of Bougherra would be a big one for Rangers, as he has been one of the better players for them this year. Lee McElbows McCullough might also miss the match due to illness. Of course, Walter Smith will be in the stand for this match, serving his four game suspension, though a monkey could tell them to stay 10 behind the ball.

Sunday will be the biggest test for Tony Mowbray’s new regime to date. While people will have tons of “suggestions” about European and other SPL games, ultimately a Celtic coach is judged by his performance against the bitter ancient rivals from the other part of town. Needless to say, ToMo seems up for it. This week he said, “We are in the position where going to Ibrox is a good game for us. We can open up a gap that will give us a bit of breathing space. But we will try to be positive and ask a few questions if we can. The occasion is there to be enjoyed and we will be trying to get a result to make a lot of people happy.”

Mowbray’s team selection for this all-important match might be effected by injuries and knocks to the team. Scott Brown’s ankle continues to be an issue and after picking up another injury to it in the midweek European tie. It is becoming such a problem that he will see a ankle specialist after Sunday’s match. While Brown has indicated he can play Sunday, his performances has suffered as of late (hopefully due to the injury and not, you know, being a headless chicken). Perhaps Barry Robson would be the better partner for Landry N’Guemo in the middle (though me calling for Barry Robson to play should not be a surprise to any readers). Mark Wilson got the unusual start against Rapid Vienna after Andreas Hinkel picked up an injury in practice earlier in the week. You could debate that Paul Caddis should have earned the start over the rarely used Wilson, but maybe he was being saved for Sunday. Either way, I’d rather see a healthy Andreas Hinkel in there, but that is yet to be seen. Celtic Cult Hero Paddy McCourt also suffered an injury before Thursday and will be another game time decision whether he can go or not.

The squad and formation that Tony Mowbray will go with seems to be a mystery though. Both selections have been changed a few times based on the squad available. I would expect Scott McDonald the lone striker, with Aiden McGeady and Shaun Maloney on the wings. Who ToMo will go with for his center back pairing is also a mystery. I am hoping for Glenn Loovens and Stephen McManus to be paired together, but the past few games has left everyone guessing. No matter what, I have a feeling both Tony Mowbray and Peter the Pointer will have the troops fired up for this one. The two former Celtic players now coaches know what this rivalry means and will have no trouble explaining that. This match is a huge one. KEEP THE FAITH!

Midfielder Aiden McGeady remains doubtful for Thursday’s Europa League match and faces a fitness test hours before the game. Honestly, I would rather have McGeady rested for this match and fit for the big match Sunday. Paddy McCourt’s name has been thrown around as someone who could possibly start both Thursday and this weekend, but both he and Andreas Hinkel missed training today and will also face a fitness test before the match Thursday.

The extent of Aiden McGeady’s injury is not fully known, but it is certain that McGeady will miss the match tomorrow against St. Mirren with the ankle knock he picked up midweek. Certainly Paddy McCourt’s midweek performance would earn him the start in the injured McGeady’s spot? Well, maybe, maybe not. There’s a chance he could start, but I’d still expect Niall McGinn, the natural winger, to start on the wing. Of course, Marc Antoine Fortune will still not be available with a knee injury. Zheng Zhi’s deal was officially completed this week, but Zhi will not be available this weekend, as he needs a few training sessions still. Barry Robson finally got a full shift in on Thursday and is in the squad for Saturday against St. Mirren, but I would expect Robo Cop to play a substitute role to not push the midfielder recovering from injury too much. Here is the announced squad for Celtic: Boruc, Caldwell, Loovens, Daniel Fox, Hinkel, Scott Brown, N’Guemo, McDonald, Killen, Maloney, McGinn, Robson, McManus, Crosas, McCourt, Caddis, Zaluska, Carey, Mizuno.

The Buddies will be facing some injury problems as the top of the league Celtic team comes to town. Steven Robb, Chris Smith and Mo Camara, who has had knee surgery, are all out through injury. However, new signing central defender Chris Innes will make his St. Mirren debut against Celtic.

Now, first of all, that whole mess in the midfield. As everyone’s friend, the Microsoft paperclip, tells us, Gary Caldwell in the midfield will not work. He cannot pass, and his tackling has been suspect, especially for someone who usually plays a center-back. Was ToMo trying not to hurt either Caldwell, Stephen McManus, or Glenn Loovens feelings by playing all three Thursday? It’s time to hurt some feelings. McManus and Caldwell are both shaky out there, and I don’t think that McManus is 100% game fit, so Glenn Loovens should definitely be out there. Tony Mowbray was not too happy that Heid decided to use the day before a big European tie to say he would not sign with Celtic if they didn’t meet his financial demands, so I’d expect to see Loovens and McManus paired together to send Caldwell a message.

Georgios Samaras is doubtful after going full tilt into the cement Celtic bench on Thursday, with a gash on his knee. Of course, Marc Antoine Fortune is still unavailable with knee problems, meaning the choices for striker are rather limited. I would think that Scott McDonald will get the call to be the lone striker. I did not mind Mowbray’s 4-5-1 on Thursday, bar the fact that Gary Caldwell was the most important piece of the attack for Celtic. It’s a role he cannot fill. Celtic have two players in Barry Robson and Marc Crosas who can fill that role of tackler and someone who can make that first pass to start the attack from our end. If Mowbray goes with the 4-5-1, I really hope that they are featured instead of Caldwell.

The season is early, but this is easily the biggest game of the season so far. After the disappointment Thursday, a win was necessary for the morale of Celtic, but now there is a chance to take the lead in the league. Tony Mowbray needs to show he is not Gordon Strachan 2.0. We need to see some attacking football and a Celtic domination of Hearts would just be what the doctored ordered. Big game. KEEP THE FAITH!

Ever since their founding, Hapoel Tel Aviv have been associated with far-left politcs. They were originally established in 1923, but was disbanded soon after. The club was re-formed in 1925, and then for a third time in May 1926. In 1927 the club merged with Allenby F.C., giving the club its modern form. The club’s leftist lean comes from the fact that when founded, it was part of the Hapoel sports association which was affiliated with the Histadrut trade union, and supporters of the club were often referred to as communists.

Of course, the club’s history is linked to the political situation in the Middle East region. After being in the Palestinian League before the creation of the Israeli state, Hapoel Tel Aviv joined the Israeli League. They won their first Israeli League title in 1956-57 and their first State Cup in 1960. In the 1965-66 season Hapoel Tel Aviv won the title again, and qualified for the first Asian Club Championships. In the tournament Hapoel Tel Aviv were given byes all the way to the final, where they beat Selangor 2-1 to become Asia’s first club champions. They reached the final again the next season, but lost to an Iranian club. Can you imagine a Israeli and Iranian club meeting today in a major football final? To say it’d be rivalry seems a bit of an understatement.

Since being in the UEFA region, Hapoel’s first European qualification came in 1997-1998 season, qualifying for the UEFA Cup. In their first 1998-99 UEFA Cup run, Hapoel knocked out FinnPa, before losing on penalties to Strømsgodset. In the 2001-02 UEFA Cup Hapoel reached the quarter-finals after knocking out Chelsea, Lokomotiv Moscow and Parma. Although they beat A.C. Milan 1-0 in the home leg (a match which had to be played in Bloomfield Stadium in Cyprus after Milan refused to play in Israel), Hapoel lost the away leg 2-0.

In the Europa League qualifiers, Hapoel defeated FK Teplice, buoyed by their 2-1 victory away from home, before drawing 1-1 in the return leg back in Israeli. The club has two wins and two draws in their last four matches, though strangely the two wins come on the road while the two draws were in Tel-Aviv. So perhaps this is another opportunity for Celtic to continue their now 50% win percentage away from Europe this year.

On the Celtic end, of course Marc Antoine Fortune will not be available for this match with his knee injury. He will likely not be back at leas until October. However, the rest of Celtic’s roster will be available to Tony Mowbray, including Aiden McGeady. McGeady of course missed the last league game against Dundee United due to suspension. Scott McDonald is likely to feature in a lone strike role, with McGeady and another winger, though not necessarily Shaun Maloney after his poor play last weekend, as well as likely Scott Brown helping McDonald by pushing up. Tony Mowbray was critical of Landry N’Guemo’s performance on the weekend, and we might see another change in the middle. Along with N’Guemo, ToMo can choose from Marc Crosas and Barry Robson for the middle.

After being the first “British” team to win the European Cup, here’s to hopefully being the first team to win the new Europa League.

Both teams have played well in their first three games, with Celtic winning all three of their games while Dundee United have gotten two wins and a draw in their three matches. The Arabs have beaten Falkirk in the opening weekend 2-1, a 2-0 victory over expected third place rivals Hearts (who have hilariously been shit so far), and then a surprising 0-0 draw against St. Mirren in their last game. Cadamateri has been the best player for the Arabs so far, netting three goals in three games, so he will be someone that Celtic have to focus on. United might have to rely on Cadamateri more, as Mihael Kovacevic is likely to miss out with a virus and Jon Daly, Francisco Sandaza and Kevin Smith are injured. However, Andy Webster has shaken off a groin problem and Dundee United captain Lee Wilkie returns to the bench after injury.

Despite some controversy on their transfer season tactics, there has been a relatively good feeling around Celtic, due in large part to the coaching of Tony Mowbray. Mowbray’s attacking style has been both successful and a joy to watch for Celtic fans so far. However, Tony Mowbray’s job now truly begins as the Celtic squad gets a little thinner due to injuries and *ahem* “suspensions”. Aiden McGeady will serve his suspension for running into the outstretched foot of a Hibernian defender. Marc Antoine Fortune has had a good start for Celtic in his first three games, scoring two goals and performing his job of holding the ball up for the other attacking options well. However, Celtic and Tony Mowbray will be without Fortune for at least six weeks with knee problems. Everyone’s favorite new Chinese signing, Zheng Zhi, is not likely to feature Saturday as he lacks match fitness. Scott Brown should be available though, after midweek injury fears were quelled after his shift for the Scottish National team. Brown’s Scotland teammate, Stephen McManus, also featured in the Scot’s World Cup Qualifiers and is available to Tony Mowbray for this weekend after a long rehab from off-season knee surgery.

Celtic might have to grind this one out, like they did against Hibs in their last game. Scott Brown might be called to lead the offensive attacks, which is a very scary thought to many Celtic supporters. I am not sure what the striker pairing will be, especially since when Scott McDonald and Georgios Samaras share a field, they turn from goal scorers to whinny, pouting babies together. Perhaps we could see a 4-5-1, with Brown playing up behind whoever the lone striker is (A role I think McDonald plays better than Samaras), Shaun Maloney on one wing and, why the hell not, Paddy McCourt on the other. The reserve team Maradona should be able to bring some of that flare from the reserves to the first team, right? I guess we shall see. Until then, KEEP THE FAITH!

Meanwhile, Celtic will see the return of both captain Stephen McManus and midfielder Landry N’Guemo. McManus has finally recovered from his off-season knee surgery and will be in the squad tomorrow, though Tony Mowbray has remarked that McManus is not a definite starter. N’Guemo has returned from his UEFA suspension and rest from Tony Mowbray. Since Massimo Donati is on his way to Bari, N’Guemo is sure to be in the line up tomorrow. Of course, Tony Mowbray is returning to Easter Road for the first time as an opponent rather than as a part of Hibs, after spending two and a half years there as the head coach.

The squads:
Celtic (from): Boruc, Hinkel, Caldwell, McManus, N’Guemo, Loovens, Daniel Fox, McCourt, Scott Brown, McDonald, Maloney, McGeady, Samaras, Fortune, Zaluska, Naylor, Flood, O’Dea, Caddis.

Hibernian (from): Ma-Kalambay, Bamba, Hogg, Hanlon, McCormack, Van Zanten, Stevenson, Thicot, McBride, Galbraith, Wotherspoon, Rankin, Cregg, Riordan, Nish, Benjelloun, Byrne, Stack, Stokes, McCann, Zemmama.

Arsenal will be without captain Cesc Fabregas on Wednesday. Fabregas has a hamstring problem and will be kept out of the 2nd leg of the fixture against the Bhoys, especially with a huge EPL match on the weekend against Man U. Czech winger Tomas Rosicky also has a hamstring problem, but could also be match fit for the match. Striker Theo Walcott (back), goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski (knee), winger Samir Nasri (broken leg) and defender Johan Djourou (knee) are all still out though.

Tony Mowbray has publicly announced that perhaps going with only one up front in the first match was not the best idea. He has announced that he will be making changes to that strategy. While he wasn’t specific what those changes would be, one would assume they would resemble the 4-4-2 that Celtic put out against St. Johnstone. In that game, Marc Antoine Fortune, Shaun Maloney, and Scott McDonald all got goals. Since Celtic, you know, need goals Wednesday, expect to see those same players on the field at the Emirates.

One person you will not to see is new signing Landry N’Guemo. Mowbray announced that N’Guemo was kept out of Celtic’s 5-2 victory over St. Johnstone because N’Guemo has two international matches coming up and he wants the midfielder fresh. N’Guemo will definitely not be in the return leg in North London, as the midfielder is suspended due to yellow cards.